From: Dan O'Reilly [dano@process.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 11, 1999 1:58 PM
To: Info-VAX@Mvb.Saic.Com
Subject: [FUNNY] Changing a Light Bulb

An oldie but a goodie...one of a whole stack of "DEC-isms" I accumulated
during my time at DEC...and how true!

HOW MANY DEC EMPLOYEES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

2 People - Preliminary discussion on concept of change.
1 Person - Devise and write formal bulb architecture:
2úPeople - Feasibility study and timetable of events.
2 People - Produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time (in addition 
           to the electric utility).
1 Person - Maintain ISO and DEC Standards (sockets, voltage, AC/DC).
4 People - Commonality task force on bulb change.
15 People - Change bulb.
5 People - Perform bulb functional test.
2 People - Perform bulb load test. 
3 People - Perform bulb regression test.
1 Person - Perform bulb performance analysis.
1 Person - Perform bulb bottleneck analysis.
1 Person  -Follow-up study (bulb merge feasibility).
1 Person - Interface with utilities commission
1 Person - Interface with users (Did they want incandescent when we only 
           supply non-tunable fluorescent point product?) BAX (Bulbs Are 
           Expensive)!
5 People - Perform BOSE (Build Other Socket Enhancements)ú compatibility 
           architecture/study.
3 People - Perform VIA (Voltage Increases Amps) phase 2 compatibility 
           architecture/study.
2 People - Ensure form (round, square, clear, frosted) follows function 
           (wattage, 120/240 volts, visible/ultra-violet, flashing, 
           flood/spot).
3 People - Implement temporary alternative bulb socket for already 
           existing, successful, and profitable socket (bulb-in-one).
5 People - Determine how to market/package/distribute temporary 
           alternative bulb socket.
10 People - Determine how to perform bulb change product split (Control: 
           switches, dimmers; versus implementation: screw-in torque, 
           recovery strategies).
1 Person - Interface with utilities commission QA group.
1 Person - Submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center).
1 Person - Set up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system.
10 People - Answer customer BPRs.

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+-------------------------------+---------------------------------------+
| Dan O'Reilly                  |  "Outside a dog, a book is man's best |
| Principal Engineer            |   friend.  Inside a dog, it's too     |
| Process Software Corporation  |   dark to read."                      |
| http://www.process.com        |                    -- Groucho Marx    |
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