From: Jeff Cameron [JCam90502@jcameron.com]
Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2003 8:35 PM
To: Info-VAX@Mvb.Saic.Com
Subject: Re: VMS Jokes

On 1/21/03 11:48 PM, in article b0km87$37e$1@helle.btinternet.com, "Rob
Heyes" <rob.heyes@btopenworld.com> wrote:

> I was wondering if anyone had any VMS jokes. Bit mad, I know, but you know.
> 
> If not, to get us started...
> 
> "I re-grep ever going to UNIX when VMS is far better"
> 
> Ba doom ching
> 
> 

How about : the top 10 signs you are a VMS fanatic, from
http://www.jcameron.com/vms/topten.htm

1.    You know what happened on November 17, 1858.

2.    You don't bother to exit your editor when you leave on a two week
vacation.

3.    You have to drive your car a long way to upgrade your "Other" cluster
nodes.

4.    You know why the SHOW SYSTEM display had to have the System Uptime
field increased beyond 999 days.

5.    Your LOGIN.COM exceeds 200 blocks and is on it's 1000th revision.

6.    You know the correct way of writing a date is
DD-MMM-YYYY.

7.    You have forgotten how to boot because your system has been up for so
long.

8.    You use your OpenVMS system to backup important files from your PC.

9.    You don't follow up an important VMS Mail message with a phone call
and a FAX.

10.    You understand that the "Open" is a silent prefix.