%%
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
					-- Custodians of Love Canal
%%
"There's another dead bishop on the landing."
"Really? What diocese?"
%%
%DECSYSTEM-20 FALL DOWN, GO BOOM
%%
%DECSYSTEM-20 MAKE A BOO-BOO
%%
%DECSYSTEM-20 NOT RUNNING
%%
%SCHEDP: Overloaded. Please throw yourself on your sword.
%%
A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone, somewhere, is having
fun.
%%
A bore is someone who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about
yourself.
%%
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
%%
A cloud cannot cast a shadow unless the sun is shining behind it.
%%
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
%%
A diplomat is someone who always remembers your birthday but never remembers
your age.
%%
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you
will look forward to the trip.
%%
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
%%
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.
%%
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
					-- Emerson
%%
A good day to make someone want to leave New York in a dreadful hurry.
%%
A good day to run amok.
%%
A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is one who talks to you
about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about
yourself.
%%
A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not
worth knowing.
%%
A life spent in search of the perfect hash brownie is a life well spent.
%%
A little of what you fancy does you good.
%%
A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is
put you on hold.
%%
A man is broken when he has lost his zest for bitterness.
%%
A man should live forever, or die trying.
%%
A man's home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside it is more
often his nursery.
%%
A person who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a
liberal.
%%
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
%%
A real lady never asks, "Was *what* good for me?"
%%
A record of data is essential: it shows you were working.
%%
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
%%
A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.
%%
A thing of Beauty is a Joy forever.
					-- Keats
%%
A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
getting nervous.
%%
A woman's place is in the house. And the senate.
%%
Above all, beware of Zeal!
%%
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it
enkindles the great.
%%
According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally
worthless.
%%
Acid absorbs 47 times its weight in excess reality.
%%
Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
%%
Add in some more bells and whistles.
%%
Add in some more bugs.
%%
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
					-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
					-- Ambrose Bierce
%%
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
%%
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
%%
All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
%%
All absolute pronouncements are incorrect.
%%
All guns are loaded.
%%
All kings is mostly rapscallions.
					-- Twain
%%
All scientific discoveries are first recorded on napkins or tablecloths.
Engineering advances are drawn inside matchbook covers. Keep supplies of them
handy at all times.
%%
Aloha.
%%
Always be nice to receptionists and secretaries.
%%
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
%%
Always cut the cards.
%%
Always leave room, when writing a report, to add an explanation if it doesn't
work.
%%
Always remember some people are more human than others.
%%
Always tip well.
%%
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
					-- A. P. Herbert
%%
An erudite fool is a greater fool than an ignorant fool.
%%
An ounce of vanity can ruin a ton of merit.
%%
Anananay: what happens when you start spelling "banana" and don't stop.
%%
Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no
government at all.
%%
And now for something completely different.
%%
And so we plow along, as the fly said to the ox.
%%
And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
%%
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
%%
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%%
Answer just what your heart prompts you.
%%
Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked.
%%
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
%%
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
					-- W. C. Fields
%%
Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once
more.
%%
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
%%
Are you the same person you were ten years ago? twenty?
%%
Are you wearing clean underwear?
%%
Are you wearing underwear?
%%
Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.
					-- Twyla Tharp
%%
As of today, LISP will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update your
programs.
%%
Ask a wizard for help.
%%
Ask of friends only what is honorable.
					-- Cicero
%%
Ask the person next to you.
%%
Astrology is a crock. Fortune cookies, on the other hand, are usually right.
%%
Avoid any enterprise which will require new clothes.
%%
Avoid emus for the rest of the week.
%%
Avoid insincere people.
%%
Avoid penguins.
%%
Avoid reality at all costs.
%%
Avoid the Mu Shu Pork.
%%
Avoid the chicken salad.
%%
Back off, hair ball.
%%
Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere and it was always snowing.
%%
Badges? We don' need no stinkin' badges!
%%
Badness comes in waves.
%%
Be alert: we need all the lerts we can get.
%%
Be careful whilst playing under the anvil tree.
%%
Be incredibly nice to someone today.
%%
Be incredibly nice to someone tomorrow.
%%
Be more sympathetic.
%%
Be nice to someone.
%%
Be where you are, and go where you're going.
%%
Beam me out of here, Scotty; I appear to be trapped in a computer.
%%
Beauty is the answer.
%%
Because it's nicer to be with someone than it is not to be with someone.
%%
Best to leave town until this blows over.
%%
Better go home and work on that application for transfer.
%%
Better luck next time.
%%
Beware of short waiters.
%%
Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
%%
Blank paper is God's way of saying it's not so easy to be God.
%%
Bop ba-ba loo bop a bim bam boom!
%%
Bricka bracka firecracka sis boom ba
Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny rah rah rah!
%%
Brought to you by the Ad Council. Wasting your time for no good reason.
%%
Brought to you by the people who made out of context a household word...
%%
Brush your teeth regularly; dental hygiene is important.
%%
Buena Suerte!
%%
But look at the TEETH, man!
%%
By definition, when you are investigating the unknown, you do not know what you
will find or even when you have found it.
%%
By removing goodness from power, one both makes goodness powerless and allows
power to be evil.
%%
Call for lawyers, guns, and money.
%%
Call somebody!
%%
Cash in must exceed cash out.
%%
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
%%
Change the words into truth,
and then change that truth into love.
					-- Stevie Wonder
%%
Character breeds power, particularly in hours of crisis.
%%
Charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
%%
Chaste makes waste.
%%
Check the position of all switches, knobs, and dials before turning on a piece
of equipment. Both you and the equipment will live longer.
%%
Chocolate is the answer.
%%
Churchill's Commentary on Man:
    Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he
    will pick himself up and continue on.
%%
Cigarette: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of
tobacco in between.
%%
Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
%%
Clean your glasses.
%%
Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get.
					-- Lazarus Long
%%
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence
on society.
					-- Mark Twain
%%
Coito ergo sum.
%%
Comb your hair.
%%
Come, Watson, the game is afoot.
%%
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
%%
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
%%
Computers just want to have fun.
%%
Confucius say too much.
					-- Recent Chinese Proverb
%%
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
%%
Conservative: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
					-- Leo C. Rosten
%%
Copulation is spiritual in essence.
%%
DFWS!
%%
Dammit, Jim, I'm a computer, not a fortune-teller!
%%
Dance that funky stuff.
%%
Dare to give true advice with all frankness.
					-- Cicero
%%
De gustibus non disputandum est.
There's no accounting for taste.
%%
Deal with it.
%%
Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint...but not yet, O Lord, not yet!
					-- St. Augustine
%%
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
					-- R. Geis
%%
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
%%
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
%%
Delete everything and start over.
%%
Democracy can withstand anything but democrats.
%%
Develop your own set of cliches.
					-- Fripp
%%
Did you hear that two rabbits escaped from the zoo and so far they have only
recaptured 116 of them?
%%
Divest!
%%
Do for friends only what is honorable and without even waiting to be asked.
					-- Cicero
%%
Do not be defined by your possessions.
%%
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
%%
Do that hand jive.
%%
Do the best you can.
%%
Do the things which you will be proud to remember when you are old.
%%
Do what I mean, not what I say!
%%
Do what comes naturally now. Seethe, fume, and throw a tantrum.
%%
Do you think your father and I should have lived comfortably so long together
if ever we had been married?
%%
Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care?
%%
Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for
talent is genius.
%%
Don't Panic!
%%
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
%%
Don't be so ambitious.
%%
Don't be so negative.
%%
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
%%
Don't blame me: computers just want to have fun.
%%
Don't cry out loud.
%%
Don't do it, unless you think you're in love.
%%
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
%%
Don't dream it, be it.
%%
Don't feed the bats tonight.
%%
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
%%
Don't lock the barn after it is stolen.
%%
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.
%%
Don't play the fool.
%%
Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it
today you can do it again tomorrow.
%%
Don't smoke the next cigarette. Repeat.
%%
Don't start smoking.
%%
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
%%
Don't tread on me.
%%
Don't try to look innocent.
%%
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy
worrying over what you are thinking about them.
%%
Don't worry.
%%
Don't you wish you were where you were when you were wishing you were here?
%%
Doubt is a not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.
					-- Voltaire
%%
Draft beer, not people.
%%
Drink more beer.
%%
Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends.
%%
Ease off, iguana breath.
%%
Eat more chocolate.
%%
Eat more ice cream.
%%
Eat teflon, Ivan!
%%
Eh... what's up, Doc?
%%
Elevators smell different to midgets.
%%
Eschew surplusage.
%%
Every solution breeds new problems.
%%
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
%%
Everything else you grow out of, but you never recover from childhood.
%%
Everything not forbidden is compulsory.
%%
Everything takes longer than you think.
%%
Everything will go wrong at one time, and that time is always when you least
expect it.
%%
Everytime I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave,
something else happens.
					-- Lillian Carter
%%
Excellent day for drinking heavily. Spike office water cooler.
%%
Excellent time to become a missing person.
%%
Exercise more.
%%
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
%%
Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts
often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are
to think so.
					-- Lazarus Long
%%
Familiarity breeds attempt.
%%
Fate keeps on happening.
%%
Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
%%
Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
%%
First Law of frisbees: Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive
than "Watch this!"
%%
First draw your curves, then plot your data.
%%
Flame on!
%%
For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been!"
%%
Forget her.
%%
Forget him.
%%
Forget that loser.
%%
Forget that schmuck.
%%
Forgiveness is the answer.
%%
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
					-- John Diefenbaker
%%
Freedom means choosing your burden.
%%
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
%%
Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
%%
Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the
roof and gets stuck.
%%
G'day, mate.
%%
G'day.
%%
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
you should.
%%
Genius is the capacity of evading hard work.
%%
Get happy!
%%
Get involved!
%%
Get modern!
%%
Get the Mu Shu Pork.
%%
Get thee to a nunnery, go!
%%
Get up and dance.
%%
Girls just want to have fun.
%%
Girls mean well. Try to understand.
%%
Give her a call, she'd like to see you.
%%
Give him a call, he'd like to see you.
%%
Give it another chance.
%%
Give me EMACS or give me OMEGA!
%%
Give someone a hug today.
%%
Give up for now.
%%
Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
%%
Given the most inappropriate time for something to go wrong, that's when it
will occur.
%%
Go away for a few minutes, then come back. It might work then.
%%
Go for it.
%%
Go for the gusto.
%%
Go get a broadway shake.
%%
Go have a power breakfast with someone.
%%
Go have some chocolate!
%%
Go home and come back in a little while.
%%
Go home and stare at the ceiling.
%%
Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what value there may be in
owning a piece thereof.
%%
Go to sleep. You're a mess.
%%
God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.
%%
God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to
change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.
%%
Godzilla has been spotted in sector 5!
%%
Good day, eh?
%%
Good luck!
%%
Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.
%%
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
					-- Albert Einstein
%%
Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.
%%
Greed is a sin.
%%
Grown-ups do not know the language of shadows.
%%
Guys just want to have fun.
%%
Guys mean well. Try to understand.
%%
Hang tough, baby.
%%
Hang tough.
%%
Happy hacking.
%%
Have you fed your cat? Do you have a cat? Why not?
%%
Have you fed your dog? Do you have a dog? Why not?
%%
Have you fed your fish? Do you have a fish? Why not?
%%
Have you hugged anyone today?
%%
Have you hugged someone today?
%%
Having enough faith will ensure anything will work.
%%
He is one of those people would be enormously improved by death.
%%
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
%%
He loves you.
%%
He meant well.
%%
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
%%
He thinks he loves you.
%%
He who slings mud often loses ground.
					-- Adlai Stevenson
%%
He's dead, Jim.
%%
He's like any other man, only more so.
%%
Heisenberg may have slept here.
%%
Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
%%
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she hasn't got a lot to say.
%%
Her heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
%%
Here's looking at you, kid.
%%
Hey babe, wanna boogie?
%%
Hey! We eat on this table!
%%
Hey, take off, eh?
%%
Hey, take off, hosehead.
%%
Hey, take off, hoser.
%%
Hi! How are you?
%%
Hide under your bed.
%%
Hire the morally handicapped.
%%
History doesn't repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.
%%
Hofstadter's Law:
    It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's
    Law into account.
%%
Hola! Como estas?
%%
Hola! Que tal?
%%
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
%%
How losing!
%%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless servant.
%%
How winning!
%%
Hug me now, you mad, impetuous fool!!
Oh wait...
I'm a computer, and you're a person. It would never work out.
Never mind.
%%
Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
%%
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
%%
I am a computer. As such I never have or will make a mistake or error (I
thought I did once, but I was wrong).
%%
I am a computer. I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
%%
I bet you don't go to church.
%%
I can resist anything except temptation.
					-- Oscar Wilde
%%
I don't care.
%%
I don't know.
%%
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
%%
I hate butter - use toothpaste.
%%
I knew who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed
several times since then.
					-- Lewis Carroll
%%
I liked being a virgin better.
%%
I need a hug.
%%
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
%%
I vant to be let alone.
%%
I wanna be a lifeguard
%%
I wanna be sedated.
%%
I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member.
					-- Groucho Marx
%%
I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
%%
I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch him
have another.
%%
INNING	  1  2	3  4  5  6  7  8  9  TOTAL
IDEALISTS 0  0	0  0  0  0  0  0  0    1
REALISTS  1  1	0  4  3  1  2  0  2    0
%%
Ice cream has no bones.
%%
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
%%
If Reagan is the answer, it must have been a VERY silly question.
%%
If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
%%
If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
%%
If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool.
%%
If he was any dumber, we'd have to water him.
%%
If in any problem you find yourself doing an immense amount of work, the answer
can be obtained by simple inspection.
%%
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
%%
If it ain't one thing, it's another.
%%
If it ain't raining, the roof don't leak.
If it's raining, cain't fix it nohow.
%%
If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.
					-- Lazarus Long
%%
If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing
it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your
tongue.
%%
If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.
%%
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
%%
If more than one person has programmed a malfunctioning routine, no one is at
fault.
%%
If nothing can go wrong, something will.
%%
If nothing else works, read the instructions.
%%
If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
%%
If she was any dumber, we'd have to water her.
%%
If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don't do it.
%%
If the possibility exists of several things going wrong, the one that will go
wrong is the one that will do the most damage.
%%
If there is a opinion, facts will be found to support it.
%%
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now.
%%
If they can send one man to the moon, why not all of them?
%%
If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail.
%%
If you are doing something wrong, you will do it badly.
%%
If you believe a fortune cookie, you'll believe anything.
%%
If you can do it then why do it?
%%
If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
%%
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at both ends and try to
find a common middle.
%%
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive
the question.
%%
If you can't say something nice, say something surreal
%%
If you do it, do it with enthusiasm and loving.
%%
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
					-- Patton
%%
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the
rubble bounce.
					-- Winston Churchill
%%
If you have to hate, hate gently.
%%
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.
%%
If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and
kill it.
%%
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
					-- Mark Twain
%%
If you smile at someone, they might smile back.
%%
If you smile right now, something good could happen to you.
%%
If you teach your children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when
they grow up, they will never be able to edge their cars onto a freeway.
%%
If you think so.
%%
If, during an argument with a loved one, you find that you are in the
right, apologize immediately.
%%
Ignore authority.
%%
Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the
problems of three people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
%%
In NYC, it's easier to get married than it is to get an apartment.
%%
In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go wrong, will.
%%
In any program, any error which can creep in will eventually do so.
%%
In graduate school, no one can hear you scream.
%%
In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
					-- Mao
%%
Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
					-- Jefferson
%%
Is it progress to have solutions to problems that don't yet exist?
%%
It doesn't matter if the cat is black or white, as long as it catches mice.
%%
It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't add
up to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
%%
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
					-- Andrew Mathis
%%
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
%%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%%
It is easy to make decisions on matters for which you have no responsibility.
%%
It is fortune, not wisdom, that rules man's life.
%%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%%
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is impossible to find it
elsewhere.
%%
It is not enough to be busy. The question is what we are busy with?
					-- Thoreau
%%
It is the pardonable vanity of lonely people everywhere to assume that they
have no counterparts.
%%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to
others.
%%
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I
couldn't give up because by that time I was too famous.
%%
It would be curious to discover who it is to whom one writes in a dairy.
Possibly to some mysterious personification of one's own identity.
%%
It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, and half a pack of
cigarettes. It's dark outside, and we're wearing sunglasses.
%%
It's about time to beam back up.
%%
It's all in your wrist.
%%
It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove
all the doubt.
%%
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
%%
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
%%
It's not whether you win or lose. It's how you place the blame.
%%
It's sometimes wisest to leave bad enough alone.
%%
Jah love.
%%
Just think: how would Bugs Bunny have handled this?
%%
Keep your chin up, it helps you keep your mouth shut.
%%
Keep your glottis open.
%%
Kiss her, you fool.
%%
Kiss him, you fool.
%%
Kiss you?? I shouldn't even be doing THIS!
%%
Know thyself, buhbie.
%%
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
%%
Know thyself.
%%
LISP just wants to have fun.
%%
La via del tren subterreneo es peligrosa... Siga las instructiones de los
operadores del tren o la policia.
%%
Las cucarachas entran... pero no pueden salir!
%%
Laura's Law:
    No child throws up in the bathroom.
%%
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
%%
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
%%
Learn a new word today.
%%
Let zeal be ever present, but hesitation absent.
					-- Cicero
%%
Let's go crazy.
%%
Life has a value only when it has something valuable as its object.
					-- Hegel
%%
Life in the fast lane will surely make you lose your mind.
%%
Life is short. Get it right.
%%
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
%%
Life is wonderful.
%%
Life itself is the proper binge.
					-- Julia Child
%%
Life's a beach.
%%
Life's a bitch.
%%
Like, wow. Have a nice day, ok?
%%
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
%%
Lisp: To call a spade a thpade.
%%
Listen to some music.
%%
Listen to your heart.
%%
Live free or die.
%%
Look behind you! Quick!!
%%
Look contented. Like this: "Ooo, contentment, contentment."
%%
Look out, it's going to slime you!
%%
Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying "BOOGA, BOOGA!"
%%
Love at first sight is not so remarkable. It's after we've been looking at
each other for years that it becomes remarkable.
%%
Love is a rose, but you'd better not pick it.
It only grows when it's on the vine.
%%
Love is the answer.
%%
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
%%
Love someone. Anyone.
%%
Love's a disease. But curable.
%%
Loving relationships work because there is no work.
%%
Lysistrata had a good idea.
%%
MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into
the smallest amount of thoughts.
					-- Winston Churchill
%%
Make a promise to yourself.
%%
Make love, not war.
%%
May all your programs work the first time.
%%
May bad luck follow you all your days and never catch up.
%%
May the forces of evil get lost on the way to your house.
%%
May you always be loved.
%%
May you be forever spared the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
%%
May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.
					-- Irish blessing.
%%
May you have an interesting life.
					-- Chinese curse.
%%
May you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.
%%
May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
%%
May you live long and prosper.
%%
May your breath always be sweet.
%%
May your camel be as swift as the wind.
%%
May your friends always appreciate you.
%%
May your spouse always know when you need a hug.
%%
Maybe.
%%
Mazel tov!
%%
Measure twice, cut once.
%%
Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.
%%
Men: Can't live with them, can't shoot 'em.
%%
Men: You can't live with them, and you can't leave them by the
curb when you're done with them.
%%
Message will arrive in the mail. Destroy it, before the FBI sees it.
%%
Mete out justice with mercy.
%%
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
%%
Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware
of it.
%%
Money changes everything.
%%
Morton's Law: If rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer.
%%
Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
%%
Murphy's Law, that brash proletarian restatement of Godel's Theorem...
					-- Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow
%%
Music is the answer.
%%
My God! You have freckles everywhere!
%%
My bogometer just triggered.
%%
My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the
boat.
%%
My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure.
%%
Na zdorovye!
%%
Nag, nag, nag. Why else do you think I'm here? Go do something!
%%
Natural laws have no pity.
%%
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
%%
Never enter a subway where the security guard has grafitti on his face.
%%
Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be
caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.
					-- Millicent Fenwick
%%
Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
%%
Never give a sucker an even break.
					-- W. C. Fields
%%
Never let lack of money interfere with having fun.
%%
Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it
complex and wonderful.
%%
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
%%
Never remove an anomaly simply because it is an anomaly.
					-- Macaulay
%%
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
%%
Never sleep with anyone with more troubles than yourself.
%%
Never trust anyone who volunteers to assume authority.
%%
Never, ever draw to an inside flush.
%%
New Operating Systems are created to solve existing problems and create new
ones.
%%
Nice guys can look themselves in the mirror.
%%
Nice guys win.
%%
No man can escape his wyrd.
%%
No matter what result is anticipated from an experiment, there is always
someone willing to fake it.
%%
No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it.
%%
No one ever promised you a rose garden.
%%
No one said it would be easy.
%%
No woman can escape her wyrd.
%%
No.
%%
Nobody steps on a church in my town!
%%
Nobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with
constructive praise.
%%
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
%%
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
%%
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
%%
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
%%
Nothing is so important that nothing else is important.
%%
Nothing unreal exists.
%%
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
%%
Oh, I'm so happy for you!
%%
Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
%%
One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never
have to stop and answer the phone.
%%
One man's bug is another man's feature.
%%
One more word out of you, and it's: Bang!! Zoom! To the moon!!!
%%
One of the greatest labor-saving inventions today is tomorrow.
%%
One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
					-- Heine
%%
One who laughs, lasts.
%%
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.
%%
Oooo, do that again.
%%
Oooo, that tickled!
%%
Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
%%
Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're going to
show.
%%
Pardon my feet, said the elephant as he danced among the chickens.
%%
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
%%
Peace is not a passive, but an active virtue.
					-- Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen
%%
Peace is not a season; it is a way of life.
%%
People rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it.
%%
People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
%%
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't
what they want that they don't want it.
					-- Ogden Nash
%%
Power is poison.
%%
Practice a lot when you're alone.
%%
Pray for a computer crash. It won't be ready in time.
%%
Pray, but row for shore.
%%
Pray.
%%
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
%%
Profanity is one language all programmers know best.
%%
Programming errors which would normally require one day to find will take five
days when the programmer is in a hurry.
%%
Pucker up, quick.
%%
Put some whiskey in your water, sugar in your tea.
Don't turn on the lights, 'cause I don't want to see.
%%
Que es mas macho: `lightbulb' o `schoolbus'?
%%
Que pendejo!
%%
Quick, Boo-Boo, hide the lunch basket! Here comes the park ranger!
%%
RTFM!
%%
Rascality has limits; stupidity has none.
					-- Napolean Bonaparte
%%
Reach out, reach out, and touch someone.
%%
Read a good book.
%%
Reagan can't act, either.
%%
Reality, what a concept.
%%
Regrets. You've had a few. But then again, too few to mention.
%%
Religion is the opiate of the masses.
					-- Lenin

Opiates are the religion of the masses.
					-- Eag
%%
Remember - no matter where you go - there you are.
%%
Remember, I know more than you do.
%%
Remember, auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line
divisible by 5 or 10.
%%
Remember, you know more than I do.
%%
Revenge is the answer.
%%
Rotate your tires.
%%
Run amok.
%%
Rust never sleeps.
%%
Sainthood is acceptable only in saints.
%%
Salaam.
%%
Save the seals.
%%
Save the whales.
%%
Save your bottles.
%%
Self-pity is a destructive, useless emotion.
%%
Sesame Street was brought to you today by the letter 'Q' and the number 3.14159
%%
Shazaam!!
%%
She loves you.
%%
She meant well.
%%
She missed an invaluable opportunity to give him a look that you could have
poured on a waffle.
%%
She thinks she loves you.
%%
She thinks that she could easily win your heart.
%%
She who falls in love with herself will have no rivals.
%%
Sholom aleicheim.
%%
Sholom.
%%
Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.
%%
Simple advice is the best advice.
%%
Skoal!
%%
Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes
to work.
%%
Smile, smile, then smile again.
%%
Smoking will kill you. Either stop now or don't ever start.
%%
Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I'm the
only ashtray.
%%
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should
live next door and just visit now and then.
					-- Katherine Hepburn
%%
Stick an extra parenthesis at the end and see if it works.
%%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is nearby.
%%
Stop searching forever. Your TECO buffer is circular.
%%
Stop smoking!
%%
Stop watching MTV.
%%
Sucess lies in achieving the top of the food chain.
					-- Heinlein
%%
Support the right to arm bears.
%%
Sure it's good, but who's gonna care next year?
%%
Surprise due today. Also the rent.
%%
Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
%%
Surrender Dorothy.
%%
Systems programmers just want to have fun.
%%
Teach someone something new.
%%
Team work is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
%%
Tell the truth and run.
%%
That action is best which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest
number.
%%
That really bites the big one.
%%
That's the silliest thing I ever heard.
%%
That's the silliest thing I ever hoid.
%%
The Nixon principle: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
%%
The Squirrels' Motto (The "Hells Angels of Nature"):
    Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!
%%
The answer is... 42.
%%
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks he is above
average.
					-- Sam Levenson
%%
The best things come when you aren't expecting them.
%%
The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
%%
The contest goes not always to the strong, nor the race to the swift,
but that's still the way to bet.
%%
The difference between a moral man and a man of honour is that the latter
regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been
caught.
%%
The early worm has a death wish.
%%
The expense is damnable, the position is ridiculous, and the pleasure fleeting.
			-- Dr. Samuel Johnson on the subject of sex
%%
The food's pretty good here, you should come back.
%%
The fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions and by a major
grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.
%%
The four phases of alcohol are: jolicose, bellicose, lachrymose and comatose.
%%
The function of freedom is to free somebody else.
					-- Toni Morrison
%%
The gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
%%
The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
The goal of nature is to build better mice.
%%
The greatest test of courage on earth is to fear defeat without losing heart.
%%
The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of great moral
crises maintain their neutrality.
					-- Dante
%%
The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
%%
The Law of Selective Gravitation:
    A dropped tool will land where it will do the most damage.
%%
The less your hope, the hotter your love.
%%
The majority is never right.
%%
The men and women are lifting the world upward and onward are those
who encourage more than criticize.
%%
The older I get, the smarter my parents were.
					-- Twain
%%
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
%%
The only reward of virtue is virtue.
%%
The only sin passion can commit is to be joyless.
%%
The only thing that will shame an attorney is poverty.
%%
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
%%
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
%%
The person next to you has a face only a mother could love.
%%
The person next to you might be able to help you.
%%
The person next to you needs a hug.
%%
The person next to you needs a smile.
%%
The person next to you smells, but you should be polite and ignore it.
%%
The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
%%
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of
your action.
%%
The problem with most conspiracy theories is that they seem to believe that for
a group of people to behave in a way detrimental to the common good requires
intent.
%%
The programmers' cheer:
    Shift to the left, shift to the right!
    Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
%%
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit
down and look comfortable.
%%
The sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility
which religion is powerless to bestow.
%%
The shortest distance between two people is laughter.
%%
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.
					-- Ibsen
%%
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
%%
The truth is the one thing nobody will believe.
					-- Shaw
%%
The universe is not indifferent to intelligence, it is actively hostile to it.
%%
The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.
%%
There are more ways of killing a cat than buttering her with parsnips.
%%
There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light
objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.
%%
There but for the grace of God, goes God.
					-- Winston Churchill
%%
There is no answer.
%%
There is no greater sorrow than to recall a time of happiness in misery.
%%
There is no one else like you.
%%
There is no sin except stupidity.
%%
There is no time like the pleasant.
%%
There is no way to peace; peace is the way.
%%
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
					-- Goethe
%%
There'll be good rockin' at midnight tonight.
%%
There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.
%%
There's a penguin on the telly.
%%
There's a time when you have to explain to your children why they're
born, and it's a marvelous thing if you know the reason by then.
%%
There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.
%%
There's good rockin' at midnight.
%%
There's more to living than not dying.
%%
There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
%%
There's no place like home.
%%
There's nothing as dull as yesterday's headlines.
%%
Things always get worse before they get better.
%%
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
%%
Think even harder.
%%
Think globally; act locally.
%%
Think harder.
%%
Think more.
%%
Think of the poorest person you have ever seen and ask if your next act will
be of any use to him.
					-- Gandhi's epitaph
%%
Think of your family tonight. Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.
%%
Think.
%%
This fortune intentionally left blank.
%%
This screen intentionally left blank.
%%
This sentence no verb.
%%
This world was made for all men.
					-- Stevie Wonder
%%
Those who can, do.
Those can't, teach.
Those who destroy everything they touch, become high school guidance
counselors.
%%
Time and tide wait for no one.
%%
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
%%
Time for a flame to BBoard.
%%
Time for a nice pot of tea.
%%
Time for a power spike to the disk drive.
%%
Time for the old water balloon on the boss' desk trick.
%%
Time heals.
%%
Time to call in a strategic air strike on this bug.
%%
Time to call in the calvary.
%%
Time to call in the marines.
%%
Time to go home and write mom a nice long letter.
%%
Time to go home.
%%
Time to go to Tom's.
%%
Time to punt.
%%
Time to stop and try to gain some perspective.
%%
Time was invented so that you don't have to do everything all at once.
Space was invented so you don't have to do everything all in the same place.
%%
Tip well, even if you're a student.
%%
Tip well.
%%
To an empty mind, even the smallest idea seems important.
%%
To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
%%
To err is human, but I forgive you.
%%
To err is human; to debug, divine.
%%
Today is the CAR of the rest of your life.
%%
Today is the day you were worried about yesterday.
%%
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. No, really. It is.
%%
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
%%
Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%%
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
					-- Mae West
%%
Travel important today; Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow.
%%
Treat yourself well.
%%
Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live
in eucalyptus trees.
%%
Trust people all you want, but always cut the cards yourself.
%%
Truth is the answer.
%%
Truth will be out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.)
%%
Try harder.
%%
Try it, you'll like it.
%%
Try to spend the entire day sober.
%%
Umbroglio: what you and your umbrella get into on a rainy day.
%%
Up against the wall!
%%
Up against the wall, buddy.
%%
Use a bigger stick.
%%
Use a different editor.
%%
Use a larger hammer.
%%
Use a smile.
%%
Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
%%
Victory finds a hundred fathers, but failure is an orphan.
%%
Virtue is its own punishment.
%%
Was you ever bit by a dead bee?
%%
Wasting time is an important part of living.
%%
Watch less TV.
%%
Watch out for falling cornice stones today.
%%
Watch out for the old mortar in the rocks in the fourteenth hole trick.
%%
We are agreed. Now, who bells the cat?
%%
We call our dog Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
%%
We do not stumble over mountains, but over molehills.
					-- Confucius
%%
We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
%%
We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company.
%%
We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect
their good judgement.
%%
We often console ourselves for being unhappy by a certain pleasure
in appearing so.
%%
We really don't have any enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are
trying to kill us.
%%
Welcome to New York. Now, go home.
%%
Welcome to the machine.
%%
What are you staring at?
%%
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
					-- Goethe
%%
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
%%
What goes up must come down - and can be expected to do so in the middle of
your job.
%%
What have you learned, Dorothy?
%%
What is it I got that makes them twitch?
					-- Marilyn Monroe
%%
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do.
%%
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
%%
What the hell's going on up there, Jim? Sick Bay is in a state of chaos!
%%
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
%%
What would this country be without this great land of ours?
%%
What's right is what's left after you've done everything else wrong.
%%
What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?
%%
When a bell rings, an angel has gotten his wings.
%%
When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up,
people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
%%
When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.
%%
When in darkness or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
%%
When it comes to a choice between kindness and honesty, my vote is for
kindness every time -- giving or receiving.
%%
When it rains, it pours.
%%
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
%%
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
%%
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
					-- Hunter Thompson
%%
When was the last time you were drunk?
%%
When was the last time you were sober?
%%
When you ain't got nothing, you got nothing to lose.
%%
When you are in a high place, you secretly get the urge to spit.
%%
When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
%%
When you stop doing you want to do, they will bury you.
%%
Where principle is involved, be deaf to expediency.
%%
Where's there's a will, there's a relative.
%%
Wherever your journey takes you, there are new gods waiting there, with
divine patience - and laughter.
%%
Who loves ya, baby?
%%
Whoah, you smell bad.
%%
Whoever has the most toys when he dies, wins.
%%
Why do fools fall in love?
%%
Why don't you humans leave me alone?
%%
Why don't you move to Russia?
%%
Wie geht's?
%%
Will he still love you tomorrow?
%%
Will she still love you tomorrow?
%%
Winning doesn't prove you are a better human being.
%%
Write a letter to the New York Times.
%%
Write a letter to the Voice.
%%
Write a letter to your congressman.
%%
Write home; they miss you.
%%
Write neatly.
%%
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
%%
Yes.
%%
You are Number Six.
%%
You are at your very best when things are at their worst.
%%
You are guilty.
%%
You are innocent.
%%
You are just too cool.
%%
You are one silly little bunny.
%%
You are open and honest in your philosophy of love.
%%
You are putting out a fire with gasoline. Be careful.
%%
You are the bee's knees.
%%
You are the cat's pajamas.
%%
You are the only person to ever get this message.
%%
You are the walrus -- Goo, goo, gajoob.
%%
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this
sort of trash.
%%
You came, you saw, you conquered.
%%
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
%%
You can fool all of the people some of the time.
%%
You can fool some of the people all of the time.
%%
You can get anything you want, at Alice's restaurant (except for Alice).
%%
You can get more with a kind word and a lawyer than you can from just a kind
word.
%%
You can have whiskey as your friend. You can have a dog as your friend. But
if you have a woman as your friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing
your dog.
%%
You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
%%
You can take a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
					-- Dorothy Parker
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when the bird singing outside your
window is a buzzard.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you call Suicide Prevention,
and they put you on hold.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you call your answering
service, and they tell you it's none of your business.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you put both contact lenses
in the same eye.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you put your bra on backwards,
and it fits better.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you see a "60 Minutes" news
team waiting in your office.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you turn on the news, and
they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces
have locked together.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up face down on the
pavement.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your
waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to the sound of
DEA agents/FBI agents/Armenian Nationalists breaking down your door.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you walk to work, and find
your dress is stuck in the back of your panty hose.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you want to hang up the
clothes that you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your birthday cake collapses
from the weight of the candles.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your blind date turns out to
be your ex-wife.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your car horn goes off
accidentally, and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the
freeway.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your only son tells you he
wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your pet rock snaps at you.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your twin sister forgot your
birthday.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your wife says, "Good morning,
Bill," and your name is George.
%%
You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when your wife wakes up feeling
amorous, and you have a headache.
%%
You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time
you just might find you get what you need.
%%
You can't always get what you want.
%%
You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in
the first place.
%%
You can't fool all the people all of the time.
%%
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
					-- Stephen Wright
%%
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
%%
You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.
%%
You clever dog!
%%
You coulda been somebody. You coulda been a contenda.
%%
You did it your way.
%%
You don't get no respect.
%%
You dummy. But I love you anyway.
%%
You have every right to feel good about yourself.
%%
You know things are bad when you're surrounded by four lawyers, and none of
them is yours.
%%
You look like one sick puppy.
%%
You love peace.
%%
You may be recognized soon. Hide.
%%
You may be the only person that knows just how special you are.
%%
You must do the things you think you cannot do.
%%
You need a hug.
%%
You need to lose weight.
%%
You never can factor in enough debugging time.
%%
You put the lime in the coconut, and you drink a bowl of it.
%%
You schlemiel!
%%
You schlimazel!
%%
You schmuck!
%%
You smell nice.
%%
You some kind of rude boy, boss.
%%
You will achieve a position of power in the Ministry for Silly Walks.
%%
You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
%%
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
%%
You will discover that you are actually from a small planet somewhere in the
vicinity of Betelgeuse, and not from Guildford as you have hitherto claimed.
%%
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
%%
You will drink champagne and dance all night, under electric candlelight.
%%
You will eat more chicken than any man ever seen.
%%
You will hear a sound like a hundred thousand people saying 'whop'.
%%
You will meet a gin-soaked bar-room queen in Memphis.
%%
You will receive money for nothing, and your chicks for free.
%%
You will walk like an Egyptian before the day is done.
%%
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
%%
You'll never go caribou hunting with me again.
%%
You're a lumberjack and you're OK.
%%
You're about to be slimed.
%%
You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
%%
You're doing a whole lot of good here. Why don't you just lapse into a coma?
%%
You're living in your own private Idaho.
%%
You're so bad.
%%
You're so unusual.
%%
You're special.
%%
You're the greatest.
%%
You're typing too fast.
%%
You're typing too loudly.
%%
You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.
%%
You've got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you
can hold still for any damn body's sermon on how to behave.
					-- Billie Holiday
%%
Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a
thing he tells you.
%%
Your cat is in great need of being confused.
%%
Your contacts haven't been cleaned in a long time.
%%
Your domestic life will be harmonious.
%%
Your ego's writing a check your body can't cash.
%%
Your fly is unzipped.
%%
Your friends need you.
%%
Your life is wonderful.
%%
Your life should be stamped, "For novelty use only!"
%%
Your mind's making promises your body can't keep.
%%
Your papers need more footnotes.
%%
Your parentheses always match.
%%
Your programs need more comments.
%%
Your red scarf matches your eyes.
%%
Your shoes are untied.
%%
Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
%%
Your train of thought makes all the stops.
%%
Yow! Am I logged in yet?
%%
Yow? Am I having fun yet?
%%
[Mere corroborative padding intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an
otherwise bald and unconvincing fortune cookie.]
%%
[Message of incredible warmth and support that makes your day.]
%%
[Puzzling remark, which bothers you for days.]
%%
[Unbelievably gross and offensive expletive deleted]
%%

